Rather than wishing for more stuff, money or fame, learn to be happy with what you have. Practice gratitude, build meaningful connections, and play to your strengths.
Research has shown that happiness depends on many things—and luckily, most are under our control. The secret to happiness might be as simple as smiling more often or getting eight hugs a day.
1. Take care of yourself
For most of us, happiness doesn’t just happen. It’s something we work at, like any other habit. It involves choosing to prioritize what makes you happy over things that don’t—like listening to funny podcasts instead of the news or skipping a workout for a bike ride.
It involves choosing to hang out with “Radiators” who are positive and uplifting, not “Drains” who can zap your energy. It involves making the conscious decision to spend less money on material goods, and more time on experiences that make you happy—like going to a comedy show or hanging out with friends.
The best part is that putting yourself first can actually help you take care of others. Studies have shown that people are happiest when they’re taking care of themselves, and then sharing those feelings with others. Whether it’s a quick meditation, a healthy meal or helping a neighbor with an overflowing garbage can, every act of self-care counts as happiness-building. Just don’t be hard on yourself if you get off course once in a while—happiness is a journey, not an instant reward.
2. Be grateful for what you have
Practicing gratitude can help you notice the things in your life that bring you joy, satisfaction and happiness. Keeping a journal is one way to practice gratitude, but you can also try saying grace before meals or making a habit of complimenting yourself daily.
Researchers have found that people who take time to list what they are thankful for experience increased feelings of happiness. Teri McKeever, the head women’s swimming and diving coach for the University of California Berkeley, takes these findings into action with her team, using a daily gratitude exercise to ensure a productive practice session and foster team cohesion.
When it comes to feeling grateful, depth is more important than breadth. In other words, spending more time focusing on the specifics of someone or something you’re thankful for has greater benefits than simply tallying up many items. You can even get more personal and think about what your life would be like without certain people or things in it, and what positive outcomes you’ve gotten from negative experiences.
3. Focus on your strengths
The more time you spend focusing on your strengths, the happier you will feel. You’ll be able to separate yourself from the pack, grow your career and gain success.
But it can be hard to know what your strengths are. You may have forgotten the activities that used to energize you, or you might have trouble seeing them in your day-to-day life. There are several ways to discover your strengths, including talking with a manager, taking an online assessment, or getting feedback from a mentor.
A study by Gallup found that people who consciously use their strengths every day are six times more likely to report being satisfied with their jobs. Investing in your strengths isn’t a luxury; it’s a basic rule of efficiency. Every hour you spend strengthening your natural talents has a multiplier effect, while every hour spent fixing a weakness is a waste of time. For example, J.K. Rowling is brilliant, but she can’t speak all the 68 languages into which her books have been translated.
4. Find your purpose
Having a sense of purpose is a powerful way to feel happy. It can help keep you focused on your goals and prevent you from getting distracted by the little things. However, figuring out your purpose may take some time and effort. It is also important to remember that your purpose will likely change throughout your life.
If you are struggling to find your purpose, it may help to think back on previous experiences that made you feel fulfilled. This could include your childhood, your career, or even hobbies that you enjoy. For example, if you loved drawing on the walls when you were young, you may want to consider how to incorporate that passion into your adult life.
It is important to remember that your purpose should be something that is enduring. It should be a guiding force that will guide you through both good and bad times. It may also be helpful to have multiple facets of your purpose, so that if one area of your life isn’t working well, you still have other areas to focus on.
5. Celebrate your victories
No matter what goal you’ve set for yourself, it’s important to celebrate your victories along the way. This is because it helps you stay motivated and gives you a sense of accomplishment. It also helps you avoid burnout and keeps your energy levels high.
One great way to celebrate your victories is by sharing them with others. This can be as simple as telling a friend about your accomplishment or as elaborate as throwing yourself a celebration party! Moreover, it’s also important to celebrate with the people who have helped you on your journey. After all, no one gets anywhere alone.
When you’re celebrating your victory, make sure to indulge in something that feels good for you. For example, you could treat yourself to a healthy meal or go for a long walk. You can even put on some music and dance! Or, do some power yoga. Just make sure that whatever you do, it’s something that will give you energy and promote happiness. In the end, we all deserve to feel happy!
6. Eliminate roadblocks
Whether it’s eating junk food that makes you feel bad or avoiding people who bring you down, it’s important to know what your pitfalls are and avoid them. Creating and sustaining healthy habits is a great way to feel happier, according to research.
It’s also important to recognize and remove roadblocks in the workplace. Having processes in place to identify and resolve issues, regular communication with team members and observing employees are all ways to spot problems before they get out of hand.
After you’ve gotten to the root cause of the problem, brainstorm solutions and write them down. It’s helpful to have a notepad handy because ideas can pop up at any moment, even in the shower or on a run. Once you’ve come up with a game plan and prioritized actions, share it with your team. This will help everyone own the plan and create momentum to eliminate the roadblock. Lastly, don’t forget to measure your progress along the way. This will help you see if your plan is working or if it needs to be tweaked.
7. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude is a powerful tool that can help you be happier at home, at work and everywhere in between. Try to incorporate it into your daily routine, like waking up and saying “thank you” or writing down three things you appreciate every day in your journal. Over time, these will become habits that bring you happiness.
When things aren’t going well, practice grateful thinking by focusing on the positives, retraining your brain to focus on these instead of the negatives. For instance, if your friends seem to have everything easier than you, remind yourself that they are likely experiencing their own struggles, too. It’s also important to focus on others, a common happiness cliche that invokes empathy and reminds you of how lucky you are.
One of the most important ways to be happy is to build strong relationships. In fact, the Harvard happiness study found that the happiest people had deep, loving and reciprocal relationships. Spend time cultivating these relationships and make sure to reach out to others when you can.
8. Practice mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness is one of the most effective ways to increase happiness. It involves paying attention to the present moment and noticing things like sounds, sights and touch that make up your daily experience. It also means tuning into your emotions without getting stuck in them. This can be difficult at first, but over time it can help you learn to better regulate your moods.
Finally, practicing mindfulness can help you recognize and appreciate the good things in your life. For example, if you’re eating, take the time to notice the colors, shapes and sizes of your food. Then, as you eat, focus on the texture and taste of each bite.
You may be thinking, “But happiness isn’t a choice.” While genetics and life circumstances play a role in your level of happiness, most people can learn to become happier by focusing on positive thoughts and behaviors. It can be hard to do on your own, so it’s important to find a support system. Try surrounding yourself with people who challenge your perspective and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.